4 Lessons I’ve Learned In My 4 Years Of Business
4 Lessons I’ve Learned In My 4 Years Of Business
Hey shameless squad! Here’s my honest, vulnerable shameless truth about my 4 years in business.
I didn’t think I’d switch paths with all the psychic spiritual work I am doing. I thought I’d be a certified sex therapist forever, but the universe had other plans in store. When I started my business it was all grind, marketing, spread the word everywhere online, use free social media, blog, vlog, then share it everywhere. Well you know what? Fuck that. Being a creator also is fatiguing and business coaches don’t talk about that. How about we start discussing the wisdom from within. Where do you intuitively feel guided to go with what you love to do? What feels like play to you? How can you create more pleasure in what you’re doing? While also giving permission to pivot when we are all multifaceted. No more staying in a box or in an over distorted, toxic, hustle culture masculine energy that’s left depleted. Let’s learn to start from the divine feminine energies as inspiration, to then take action, remember our why, and what staying shameless is all about. Now, let’s get into 4 things I learned over my 4 years in business…
1-The people closest to you doubt you, make you want to question yourself & shame you.
2-People will project how they think you should do things.
3-Everyone thinks they know best in certain industries or how to do business. Only you know what’s best for you. Trust your intuition.
4-It’s a spiritual adventure and you’re always going to have to work on yourself. Become the CEO, celebrity of your schedule, have healthy habits, learn what you value, allow yourself to change, work on money mindset, and consistently heal your energetic blockages.
Let’s dig into these a little more…
4 Surprising Life Lessons I Learned As A Business Owner
1-The people closest to you doubt you, make you want to question yourself & shame you.
The hack is unwavering belief.
I started my business in 2021 and got questioned by some of the closest people in my life. Do you think that’s a good idea? How will you make money? What if it doesn’t work out? What if it does and I’m wildly successful? Why can’t I charge a private rate of service or fee when I’ve worked in companies that don’t pay you out after you leave through insurance claims or percent splits? What if it’s the best idea in the world and it’s nothing but a success? My therapy business was. I knew what I was doing. I was unwavering. I told people to stop shaming me and challenging me when they could never do what I do. If they wanted to be in my life, they’d stop criticizing and have courage that it’s all working out in my favor. You know what? It does.
2-People will project how they think you should do things.
Hi shame, “you should,” is the cuss words of shameful communication, unsolicited advice, and abuse. You put that other person on the defensive. Here’s the thing, if you’re gonna tell a business owner how to run their business, what services they should have, events they should host, courses they should sell, products they should have, then put your money where your mouth is and support them. Show the fuck up for them or get the fuck out.
Just as you would someone who’s married and getting them a wedding present for a 60% chance it ends in divorce. Just as you would show up for someone’s birthday party, bachelorette party, baby showers, house warmings, and more societal events we deem as high importance. Just like you would show up for your grandchildren or children who have kids as baby sitters. Just as you would for your monthly massage, nails, or facial. Just as you would in your weekly work, you show up, your on time, try to be present, and there. If you’re going to tell business owners what the fuck to do, say you want to support them with various offerings, then put your money where your mouth is and show up for them too or stay quiet.
Many business owners are extremely brave, courageous, and doing it all themselves when they start. They don’t need people telling them what to do and not showing up. They need people supporting what they do and showing up no matter the outcome, or if you think it’s fucking stupid. You might be wrong and they might be onto something. Historically, it’s been the people with the wildest ideas that make their dreams come true. Do you want to shame that or support it? Being my background in therapy, I see so many therapists who don’t own a business question, make fun of, and shame ones that do. It makes me question that therapist, if you’re saying rude comments to therapist business owners, or to me in passing, then what the fuck are you saying to clients? I say fuck that. I don’t take on other’s projections. That says more about them than it does me.
3-Everyone thinks they know best in certain industries or how to do business. Only you know what’s best for you. Trust your intuition.
When I first started my business, I learned it was all about marketing and selling to people’s pain points. I don’t like this or agree with this anymore. I think this is a distorted way of selling. Why not come from a place of care? Compassion? Giving the information on what the person seeks to help them.
Recently, I reached out to connections I know to help promote my Astrosex programs. Some gave me unsolicited shameful feedback. Yes, when it’s not welcomed, someone just wants to tell you what to do, it comes off as know it all, abusive, and controlling energy. The advice was to speak to the pain points of people in my copy.
I didn’t want to do that. I don’t want a long ass sales page that feels like it’s miles long to read. I don’t want to make people feel bad or their pain when reading what I’m providing. I don’t like preying on people’s rough times. This happens often. I didn’t even reply to that because it wasn’t aligned. I trusted my intuition and stood firm. It’s my business at the end of the day.
I want to share with people what this is and how I help. Simple. Short. Sweet. Shameless. With some testimonials. A person knows when you are selling something vs. when something is genuine and can help you heal.
I know some people say, “sell the transformation,” and “show evidence through testimonials,” which also can come off slimy, depending on the tone and person. When someone is choosing to invest time, energy, effort, and money with you, they can see through the bullshit you’re handing to them too.
I know my value. I know how much energy I’ve put into years of these programs. I know what I am doing. I know I am calling in aligned clients and community. I know people will say I am crazy for the price when they see all that’s inside Astrosex 1 & 2 along with bonuses. Some already have. One said I’m nuts because I have so much content between two courses and it’s over 5 figures. Another said minimum $6,000 for one program. Both are less than that. You know what? I don’t care. The ones that see the value will always pay you. The ones that know you’re being authentic, honest, and genuine will come work with you. Energy never lies, but people do, and I know that, when people can see through you. My programs are for those who are even interested in learning about Astrosex. Sometimes, healing is receiving the information and learning this more. So why speak to pain points when learning is healing and pleasurable? Why do you think so many therapists stop 1:1 work and just sell courses and communities or groups? It’s because there’s so much knowledge and teachings that people benefit from in courses too. People enjoy that! So I don’t want to damper with all these pain points anymore. Feels like an outdated and disingenuous way of doing business.
4-It’s a spiritual adventure and you’re always going to have to work on yourself. Become the CEO, celebrity of your schedule, have healthy habits, learn what you value you, allow yourself to change, work on money mindset, and consistently heal your energetic blockages.
Back to my previous story, I promise I have a point…
Many therapists, business coaches, and people have told me what to do, yet, don’t take their own advice of speaking to pain points in copy. It’s funny how projection works. It happens so often and then the person doesn’t even practice what they preach. So why should I? Cause I’m younger than you? You don’t think I’m wise? You don’t think I’ve thought about this? You don’t think I’ve been working on this for years and my approach? What gives you the right to come in and say whatever the fuck you want? Just because you are older doesn’t mean you are wiser. Many people have told me what to price things at too, when I didn’t even ask them to. Rather than focusing on the questions at hand, asking for help promoting, a lot thought that was a welcome mat to tell me what to do.
I’ve also been told by many in business people won’t pay my prices or me for what I am doing, however, people do. Projection much? Did this person have money blockages they wanted to place on me? Probably. Either way I know I have to stay shameless when people try to challenge me, my beliefs, or what I’m doing. I have to be so mentally strong and resilient that these things don’t phase me anymore and I can laugh at them right away.
Projection happens a lot in relationships. It shows up when we are unhealed. These can be found in our astrological blueprints. Our natal birth charts. We discuss this in my Astrosex 1 & 2 programs. Healing is an adventure, not a journey, it is never done.
This is one of the many things I’ve dealt with as a business owner. Other business owners wanting to project, question my prices, go behind partner’s backs asking me to work for free, people assuming I trade without asking, which I don’t, or telling me people won’t pay me for what I do. They’re all lies and they didn’t come true. This projection and lies are spell casting with their words, whether or not they realize it, and because I’ve learned to spiritually protect myself and business, it doesn’t hit me. Through rituals, spells, and continuously using spiritual tools, I am always divinely guided and aligned to my parth. People pay me to exist. People pay me for the world’s first ever Astrosex programs. People pay me for my readings. People pay me for sex coaching. People pay me for psychic reads. People pay me as a spiritual entrepreneur.
If you’re a business owner, stop and think about when a person is asking you for help not for advice. That feedback although you may feel it comes from a good place, intention doesn’t equal impact. If you’re treating someone like that who is willing to pay you to promote something exciting and new, what are you saying to your clients or people associated with your business? We all have shadow work to do and be with. I hope this inspires all you business owners to think about this. Here’s some questions to ask oneself, business owner or not…
What money blockages do I have?
How am I projecting my beliefs, thoughts, feelings, or shameful advice that’s unsolicited on others?
What unhealed energetic blockage comes up for me? Why do I put that on others?
Where does this come from?
What do I need to change?
How can I start?
Who do I need to apologize to?
What repair attempts need to be made?
Think about it. Your business will thank you later. If you’re not a business owner and you find yourself doing this, think about it. That person in your life who is a business owner will be grateful for you not projecting later.
My 4 Year In Business Anniversary Reflections
Honestly, it’s been a lot. I discuss my business being my baby. I’ve talked to other moms who are also business owners that have said being a business owner is harder. Why? As a solopreneur woman owned business, I don’t get the privileges of someone picking up my baby and taking over whenever I please to do something for myself. I don’t get the free help that parents do with their children. If I can’t make an event because of something prior, it’s all on me, I can’t do it. Can I create it? Sure, one day, and I’m not there yet. I will. Have I gotten doubted when I say I’m gonna be delulu and manifest some big shit? Yes, always. People have told me I can’t do things and then I realize, wow, I create beautiful gifts for society. Events, edutainment, programs, oracle decks, services, and more. For those of you out there reading this and have various women solopreneurs whose businesses you love, support them. Don’t ask what can I do to support you. Listen to what they’re doing, share their work, blogs, vlogs, content, edutainment, shop from them, show up for them, donate to them, book a service with them, give them a shout out, celebrate their business anniversaries with them, be present, the list goes on and on, and you can be creative with this too.
Things I Would Have Never Learned Or Accomplished If I Hadn’t Become A Business Owner
Like I said, being a business owner is a lot, and I’ve been taking care of it all the past four years. I think a lot of times people worry about money, and equate that to success. I want to share though accomplishments, skills I’ve acquired, and opportunities I’ve gotten to do all because I started my business that never would have happened.
Things I would have never gotten or done had I continued working for someone else…
Expand my social circles
Learn how to build my own website
Rank #1 on Google with SEO when I was doing sex therapy
Coach other business owners
Set & hold boundaries with scheduling
Have hard money conversations
Charge people my rates that are right for me
Educate others on taxes, tax write offs, and the cost of doing business
Learn when I do & don’t work best
Created 16 oracle decks on my own
Created & came up with the world’s first ever 2 courses for my Astrosex programs
Monetized my YouTube
Had a successful therapy business
Have a successful spiritual business
Taught therapist CEUS & workshops
Worked with lovely fucking badass clients that are the right fit for me
Write my own blogs & content
Create 1,000+ videos on YouTube
Doing YouTube personal Vlog updates on life
Be featured in magazines like Cosmopolitan, Fatherly, Authority Magazine & Others
Be on many podcasts, including one with Alyssa from Netflix’s the Circle
Networked my ass off & put myself out there
Create over 500+ page shameless therapy exercises & tools
Donate my income to important causes
Created products for my previous shop
Host beautiful women’s circles for astrology & celebrating each other
Building a community of connection
Released past relationships that were no longer right for me
Taken courses on spirituality & hired mentors
Hosted networking groups & events
Became Reiki 1 & 2 Certified
Invested a lot of money, time, & energy in myself to personally and professionally grow
Channeled so many messages from my spirit guides to share with the collective
Say no to what no longer serves me
Provide Sexual Wellness, Mental Health, & Business Consultations
Learned how to copyright my work & protect it
Come up with, Create, & Recreate my own business plans
File my LLC & Ammend some shit on my own ;)
Paid other coaches, consultants, & continue to give energy & money when I needed help
Shamelessly held people who I invested in accountable when I did not agree with things that felt wrong & abusive
Hosted a women’s retreat
Started podcasts
Supported others in business
Became mentally resilient
Hire on a Copywriter
Go to Peru
Go to Bali
Learn how to shamelessly plug myself & support others to always do the same
Continuously put myself out there
Forever learning & this list is ongoing
There’s probably more. These are all gifts of being your own business owner. The transformation, growth, it’s all a spiritual experience. When I say spiritual I mean it in the sense of really assessing and aligning to your values in life. Then reassessing and realigning to what’s new, changing, and where you’re meant to grow. This is all what staying shameless is about. The dark, the light, the shadows, holding yourself so damn accountable to your morals and integrity, that you know yourself better than anyone else ever could. It’s about getting and staying in alignment. Which trust me, is no easy feat. If you’ve done that or are doing that, props to you. That is so tough. You lose people, places, experiences, communities, money, benefits, and you gain more spiritually. Spiritual wealth is apart of being a business owner I’ve come to realize. When I share my lived, learned, and heard experiences I am sharing my wealth of knowledge and gifts with the world. I know stories are healing. Posts are helpful. And words matter. I know a lot of people have silenced me or tried to bully me into being quiet in the process, but I know better. I know this is shame and a cycle of abuse other people want to keep alive. I have honest discussions about this, be it in real life, in person, or online. My job is never done. My story isn’t over. A new book is beginning.
Share your stories, your shameless truth, don’t die with them inside of you. That’s what many past spirits regret once their physical body is dead, but their soul lives on. What is it you want to create? How can you take steps towards staying shameless today? I would love to know, cheer you on, and support you.
I’m going to take some time off this Libra season since my business is a Libra ;) and enjoy life’s little pleasures. Fall leaves, colors, nature, candles, hopefully sweater weather soon, and sit in these abundant wins too. Thank you all that have continued to support me the last 4 years. I love you. I appreciate you. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.
Stay shameless
