Can A Relationship Survive Without Sex? Insights from an Intimacy Coach
Can A Relationship Survive Without Sex? Insights from an Intimacy Coach…
Hey Shameless Squad! Intimacy Coach Jackie here, blogging from Minneapolis, MN, sipping on some tea, while we spill the sexualiTEA! Can a relationship survive without sex? This is a question I get a lot as an intimacy coach. Let’s answer this right away for you boo! Here’s the sitch…
The short, sweet, shameless answer is: Yes it can!
It depends on one’s sexuality as well
Think of all the times you’re not having sex with your partner(s)/spouse
It’s important to think about how sex has changed over the years
What the relationship can’t survive without is intimacy…
Let’s dive into this more, but first, let’s talk about understanding sexual requires and desires! Sexual requires are different than desires. Requires are, if someone is Bisexual, they may require having sex with men and women, plain and simple. If someone has a sexual fantasy of someone having sex with their spouse, that is a desire, not a require. It is important to not get it twisted with language when it comes to sex. Every relationship is unique, and so are the sexual requires and desires of those involved. Some individuals might be Asexual, meaning they don’t experience sexual attraction. Asexuality exists on a spectrum, so someone might enjoy physical touch without desiring sex, or they might not enjoy sexual activities at all. This isn’t a problem—it’s simply a part of who they are. It’s crucial to ask yourself and your partner, "Is sex important in this relationship?" If sex is less significant than your bond with your partner, then the relationship can certainly thrive without it. Let’s talk about sexual self care and how this can help you in exploring more about sex, intimacy, and pleasure too!
What Is Sexual Self Care?
For those that are new, who haven’t worked with me, or just found me, welcome shameless squad! Let's take a hot minute to define sexual self care and how this is related for a moment. Oftentimes, when we discuss self care, we don’t talk about sex or sexual self care. People wonder, what does this mean? My definition of sexual self care is anything that enhances sex, intimacy, or pleasure with oneself, partner(s), or a spouse. Sex definitions for everyone are different, again, depending on sexuality, gender, relationship status/type, and more factors. Intimacy definitions are not equivalent to sex. Some people talk about up to 13 different types of intimacy, while others stick to a few. Intimacy is anything in my eyes where we are present with another person, ourselves, or people on certain energetic levels. Meaning, we are present emotionally, financially, spiritually, sexually, physically, mindfully, and more. As an intimacy coach, I find most people want intimacy more than sex. Now again, this obviously depends on the person, their relationship, sexuality, and their definitions of sex. Remember though, intimacy doesn’t equal sex, and sex doesn’t equal intimacy for some people. Let’s talk about pleasure! Pleasure definitions are truly anything that brings you joy, happiness, excitement, or delight. This is a brief definition and often I hear as an intimacy coach “guilty pleasure,” which is sex-negative programming. Why do I need to feel guilty about my pleasure? Or the pleasurable cup of tea I’m sipping on while blogging this? As an intimacy coach, I teach this, that we don’t need to feel bad or sexually shame ourselves inadvertently with the language we use. I will discuss a lot with folks that we do need to be mindful of shameless communication vs. shameful communication, especially if and when this arises with sexual self care. So what is sexual self care? It is anything that enhances sex, intimacy, and pleasure in a consensual, caring, safe, cautionary, and communicative way with partner(s), spouse, or ourselves. Let’s dive deeper into what you can do for sexual self care if you are questioning whether a relationship can survive without sex…
Intimacy Coaches Tips: Can Your Relationship Survive Without Sex?
As an intimacy coach, I often emphasize the importance of communication. It’s not just communication that is key, it is, comprehension, clarification, and implementation. I can communicate, listen, and appear to understand, but if I don’t comprehend or actively choose not to implement the next steps, then communication is fucked. So slow down when communicating and talking about sex or with your relationships in general. If you want my freebie communication guide, sign up for my newsletter on my home screen pop up and grab your freebie today! Discussing your sexual requires, desires, and boundaries openly with your partner can help navigate any discrepancies. If sex is important to you, explore alternatives together. Here are some possibilities to consider:
Opening Up the Relationship: Discuss the potential of an open relationship where one or both partners can seek sexual fulfillment outside the primary relationship. I highly recommend looking into sex and intimacy coaching for this. You will have to implement not only the shameless communication skills I just mentioned, but work together with someone who’s going to give you shameless feedback boo!
Ask Yourself This Question: Is sex a non-negotiable for me in relationships? What types of sex do I want to explore? What types of sex do I not want to explore? Are there other kinds of sex, intimacy, and pleasure I can receive with myself? Think these through, if you get stuck, reach out to me for accountability with intimacy coaching!Exploring BDSM and Kink: If one partner has a kink, fetish, or sexual fantasy, then this could be a potential reason why you’re asking the question if a relationship can survive without sex. Depending on if you and your partner(s)/spouse are both open to it, exploring different facets of sexuality like BDSM or kink might reignite your sexual connection with each other or other play partner(s).
Ask Yourself This: Does a part of your sexuality feel sacrificed because you want to explore BDSM/Kink more? What do I want with BDSM/Kinky sex in the future? How open am I to that? Would my partner(s)/spouse be open to that? If not, what is more important, my sexuality, self, or my relationship? Be honest with yourself.Solo Sexual Self-Care: Prioritize your sexual well-being. Engage in activities that enhance sex, pleasure, and intimacy. Maybe this
is you exploring masturbation for the first time with a new toy, lube, or setting the sexual scene. This could be taking yourself out on a pleasurable date, to a park, on a walk, getting a latte, reading, or anything else. Spend time being intimate and alone with yourself. This can be physical intimacy of connecting to one’s body with a hand/body massage, emotional intimacy by allowing yourself to cry, yell, or feel your feels, financial intimacy of setting aside time to plan for money goals with values, or any other category.
Ask Yourself This: What type of sexual self care do I need to plan more of? What intrigues me? What first comes to mind? When can I set aside a time, day, or a few days a month to just focus on me?Intimacy Without Sex: Focus on non-sexual forms of intimacy. Emotional closeness, physical touch, and quality time together can strengthen your bond. Obviously, there’s way more examples, as an intimacy coach, I suggest it’s important for you to reflect and think through which categories are best for you.
Ask Yourself This: Do I require an emotional connection with a partner/spouse before having sex with them? If so, what can I or we do to foster this connection more often? How can we explore other forms of intimacy together?
Seeking Intimacy Coaching Near Me
In my practice, I encourage clients to take responsibility for their own sexual well-being. Don’t project all your sexual frustrations onto your partner. Instead, consider what you can do to enhance your own sexual health. Whether it’s through masturbation, using sex toys, or finding new ways to experience pleasure, taking care of your sexual self is vital. If navigating these waters seems challenging, seeking advice from a sex therapist or intimacy coach can be incredibly beneficial. Professionals can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation, helping you and your partner understand each other better and find common ground. If you’re looking for help, or searching for intimacy coaching near me this can connect you with local experts who can assist in strengthening your relationship.
Final Thoughts From An Intimacy Coach Near Me
Ultimately, whether a relationship can survive without sex boils down to the individuals involved and their unique circumstances. Some relationships can thrive on emotional intimacy and shared experiences, while others may need a sexual component to feel complete. The key is to find what works best for you and your partner and to approach the topic with compassion and understanding. Remember, the absence of sex doesn’t diminish the potential for a fulfilling and loving relationship. Embrace the opportunity to explore new ways of connecting with your partner. It might be a journey of self-discovery and growth, leading to a stronger, more resilient relationship. A relationship without sex can survive and even thrive, provided there is open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to explore alternatives. Whether through solo sexual self-care, opening up the relationship, or focusing on emotional intimacy, there are many paths to a fulfilling partnership. As an intimacy coach and sex therapist, I’ve seen countless couples navigate this journey successfully. So, trust in the process, believe in your bond, and know that you’re not alone on this path. If you struggle talking about sex, intimacy, and pleasure, then it is up to you to do the damn thing and take action with the next steps of your shameless sexual self care goals today! If you are a couple, make sure you prioritize this part of wellness. If you take time off for a doctor’s appointment or therapy appointments, then make sure you are also prioritizing your sexual wellness coaching or intimacy coaching the same way. Don’t use the lame excuses of work, being busy, can’t afford it, or there’s no time when it’s all about taking the time to make those changes. Trust me when I say, your future, shamelessly sexy self, will thank you for it!
If you need help finding intimacy coaching near you, reach out to me today. I’m one referral away, reach out to me today!
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