How to Get Through a Breakup: Life Coaching Tips and Intimacy Coaching Insights
How to Get Through a Breakup: Life Coaching Tips and Intimacy Coaching Insights
Hey Shameless Squad! This week’s blog is brought to you today by my sugar free vanilla iced almond milk latte from none other than Caribou Coffee, started in MN! For those of you that are new here, welcome to my blog! All are written from a sex therapist and intimacy coach’s perspective on topics of shame, sex, relationships, astrology, and more! Today’s topic on how to get through a breakup is near and dear to my heart. Breaking up is hard to do, whether it's ending a romantic relationship or parting ways with a close friend. The emotional toll can be overwhelming, but with the right strategies and support, you can emerge stronger and more self-assured. As an intimacy coach and life coach in Minneapolis, I've guided many through the rough seas of breakups. Here, I'll share some essential tips to help you navigate this challenging time, including how to get over a best friend breakup, the power of silence after a breakup, and how life coaching and intimacy coaching can be invaluable during this period. But first, let me say, congratulations. Even though you may not wanna hear it now, it was meant to be how it was meant to be. A lot of spiritualists would say this is not rejection, it’s redirection, and that redirection is for your protection. The universe is bringing you something much better and has bigger plans in store for you. Without further ado, let’s spill the tea boo!
Top Tips On How To Get Through A Breakup…
Tip #1: Do & Be With Your Grief Work, This IS Ambiguous Loss
Tip #2: Be Around Supportive & Healthy People
Tip #3: Create New Life Goals & Plans For Yourself
Tip #4: Practice & Focus On All Forms Of Self Care
Let’s dive into these tips a little deeper…
How To Get Through A Breakup
First things first, acknowledge that breakups are a form of grief. You're experiencing an ambiguous loss, as the person is still alive, but no longer a part of your daily life. It's important to process this and allow yourself to grieve. Reflect on the relationship and what it meant to you. Journaling can be incredibly therapeutic; I often recommend Louise Hay's Love Yourself, Heal Your Life workbook. **Disclaimer: this is an affiliate link, which do not cost you extra, but if you use this link to purchase, a portion goes back to my business at no additional fee to you :) It includes affirmations and exercises that can help you process your emotions and focus on what you truly deserve in relationships. She’s also got a nice card deck, and oftentimes, many spiritual people will come to me after breakups seeking astrological and spiritual guidance for the next steps. What do I mean by this? Oftentimes, they want to know more about their birth chart and seek readings to understand what types of partner(s) they could have based on their sexual and relational energies. Other times, people will come to me for guidance through an energy reading to understand and make meaning out of this.
I use various card decks to pick up on the energies and keep it 100% real.
If you haven’t check out my sex tarot, astrology, and mental health channel on YouTube. Hit subscribe boo!
Here are some actionable steps to help you get through a breakup:
Identify Supportive People: Spend time with family and friends who uplift and support you. Plan activities that keep your mind engaged and provide a sense of normalcy.
Create New Plans: Start doing things you always wanted to but never had the chance to because of your previous relationship. Travel, take yourself on lunch dates, join a book club, or start a new hobby.
Practice Self-Care: Focus on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This could be anything from exercising regularly to volunteering, to simply indulging in a new book or hobby.
Feel Your Fucking Feelings: Laugh, swear, heal! Fucking cry if you need to until it’s all out. Don’t claim victim, recognize your emotions, don’t cling to them though, and release them in healthy ways. Balance is key! Don’t bypass your emotions, feeling is healing!
How to Get Over a Best Friend Break Up
Losing a best friend can be just as devastating as ending a romantic relationship. Some people may try to understand and ask, “Why is it so hard for you to let these people go?” Those friends could have been apart of that person’s life since childhood, for years, or had an authentic, genuine, connection. That’s not for you to explain to another person, nor do you have to answer if anyone asks you that question.
The steps to healing are similar, but here are some specific tips:
Try To Atone: If there’s something that you want to try as a last-ditch effort with atoning, repair, or trying again with this friendship, by all means, go for it. As long as the person is willing to do the work, you haven’t given them a second chance or two chances already, and they respond to this bid for friendship. If not, let them go!
Acknowledge the Loss: Understand that it's normal to feel intense emotions after losing a close friend. Allow yourself to grieve the loss.
Create Rituals: Practice various types of letting go rituals that can be helpful with grieving this loss. Figure out what types are right for you, be this a reiki burning bowl ritual, journaling and releasing it in some way, or practicing any type of letting go exercise on repeat until it feels good or healing for you.
Seek New Connections: Find other friends or groups where you can form new bonds. This doesn't mean replacing your best friend, but rather expanding your social circle and moving forward with new friendships.
Reflect and Learn: Consider what you've learned from this friendship. This can help you set boundaries and make healthier choices in future friendships.
The Power of Silence After a Breakup
The period of silence following a breakup is powerful. It provides the space needed for all parties to reflect and heal. Here's why it's important:
Emotional Reset: Silence allows you to disconnect emotionally and start the healing process. It gives you the time to focus on yourself and your own needs without the influence of your ex-partner or ex-bestie.
Clarity and Perspective: Stepping back from communication helps you gain clarity about the relationship and your future. It's a time to reassess your values, needs, and desires.
Avoiding Rehashing: Constant communication can lead to rehashing old arguments and prolonging the pain. Silence creates a boundary that helps prevent this.
I would also say that going silent is one of the most underrated breakup tips. You begin to recognize who does and doesn’t reach out to you. Who does and doesn’t have time or energy for you. Who your real friends and relationships are, no matter what phase in life. It shows you which relationships are one-way, which dead ends, to be yielded on, and all the signs to hit the brakes, stop, or watch out for. It illustrates all these shameless truths you may not want to identify or recognize for yourself. When you do recognize these, that’s more than likely when the healing adventure can begin.
How Life Coaching and Intimacy Coaching Helps Get Through a Breakup
Life coaching and intimacy coaching can provide invaluable support during a breakup. As a life coach in Minneapolis, I've seen firsthand how personalized guidance can make a significant difference. Here's how it helps:
Emotional Support: Coaching provides a safe space to express your feelings and work through your emotions.
Goal Setting: A coach can help you set new personal goals and create a roadmap for your future. This is particularly important after a breakup, as it helps you focus on personal growth and development.
Building Confidence: Coaching helps rebuild your self-esteem and confidence, which often take a hit during a breakup.
Developing Coping Strategies: Coaches provide practical tools and strategies to cope with the emotional aftermath of a breakup, helping you navigate your new reality with resilience and strength.
How to Fall in Love with Yourself After a BreakupOne of the most important aspects of moving on from a breakup is learning to fall in love with yourself again. This means putting yourself first and recognizing your worth. Here's how to do it:
Daily Affirmations: Start your day with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your strengths and the qualities that make you unique.
Self-Care Rituals: Create daily rituals that you look forward to. This could be a morning meditation, a walk in nature, or a relaxing bath in the evening.
Invest in Yourself: Focus on personal growth. Take up new hobbies, enroll in courses, or start a fitness routine. Investing in yourself helps build self-esteem and rediscover your passions.
Reflect on Your Deservability: Use tools like Louise Hay's affirmation cards to remind yourself of what you deserve in relationships. Write down what you will and will not tolerate, setting clear boundaries for future interactions.
Spend Time with Loved Ones: Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Plan activities that bring joy and keep you connected to your community.
Life Coaching in Minneapolis: Finding the Right Support
If you're navigating a breakup and need support, consider seeking a life coach in Minneapolis. Life coaching can provide the guidance and encouragement you need to move forward confidently. As an intimacy coach, I help clients explore their emotions, set goals, and develop strategies for a fulfilling life post-breakup.
Remember, a breakup is not just an end but a new beginning. It's a chance to rediscover yourself and what makes you happy. Embrace this opportunity to focus on self-improvement and set the foundation for a fulfilling future. Breaking up is never easy, but with the right approach and support, you can navigate this challenging time and come out stronger. Remember, it's okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Allow yourself to grieve, but also focus on the future and the new opportunities ahead.
If you need support, consider reaching out to a life coach or intimacy coach. Whether you're looking for life coaching in Minneapolis or advice on how to get through a breakup, professional guidance can make a world of difference. Embrace this time as a chance to rediscover yourself, set new goals, and build a life that brings you joy and fulfillment.
Remember, you are worth it, you deserve the best, and never settle for less!
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