Masturbation May: Secrets From A Sex Therapist
Hey Shameless Squad! This week’s sexualiTEA I’m spilling, are my shamelessly sexy secrets when it comes to your sexual self care! In honor of Masturbation May, we’re gonna stick to this theme, and I’m gonna share with you some of my shamelessly sexy secrets & more of what May can have in store for you too! Let’s get started boo.
Shameless Plug: Women in Minnesota, come to my Baddies Women’s Event In May! Honoring Women’s Health Month, Masturbation May, & Mental Health Month. With a self care swag bag costing over $165 of goodies, the ticket is cheaper than the bag itself!! We’ll have an expert panel, education, photos, private gorgeous event space, 3 hours of connection, community, sisterly bonding time, and a lovely meal to top it all off! Grab your spot today & tell a friend before we sell out again!
Shamelessly Sexy Secrets From A Sex Therapist & Intimacy Coach
Let’s normalize some of the following points when it comes to sex, sexuality, masturbation, pleasure, intimacy, and more!
Let’s start normalizing Masturbation & say it with me, There is NO SHAME in the Masturbation game!
Let’s learn how to change any sex-negative scripts, start being more sex-neutral, and positive about masturbation & do our Pleasurework
It’s okay if you only to want to have sex with a sex toy
It’s okay if you don’t want to have sex
It’s okay if your sexual libido is higher or lower than your partner’s, partner(s), or spouse, we need to ask for acceptance and appreciation when coming forth with this information and when sex changes
Sexuality is fluid, it can change, one day you may have a high sexual libido, and another you may find out you are bisexual, asexual, graysexual, demisexual, sapiosexual, and more
Lube is a beautiful tool for sexual self care, solo, partnered, or with partner(s), the wetter the better!
Sex Therapist Tip #1: Let’s Normalize Not Masturbating Too!Below are a lot of key questions, worries, and thoughts people have about masturbation. So I’ve compiled my favorite sex therapist and intimacy coach approved shamelessly sexy reminders for you! This list could go on and continue, so I encourage you to add your reminders of anything that can be helpful regarding masturbation. These are meant to be an inclusive list, regarding all types of sexualities, and genders. Be mindful of what is a helpful masturbation reminder for you, a friend, or someone else to remember too! If you can’t talk to them about it because they won’t listen, they’ll shame, gaslight or criticize you, then send them this blog :)
*Not everyone masturbates and that’s okay
*Some people masturbate multiple times a day because they have a higher sexual libido
*Some people masturbate less than once a month because they have a lower sexual libido
*Many people prefer masturbation over sex with partner(s)/spouse
*Masturbation is the #1 most frequent sexual act we will ever engage in
*There are many ways to masturbate & not everyone masturbates the same
Sex Therapist Tip #2: Let’s Normalize Sex Toys Boo!
Sex Toys Are…
A tool for learning about pleasure, intimacy, & sexuality
Can be used for sexual self care, masturbation, pleasure, & exploration
Helpful when you want to try new things sexually
What You Need To Know…
There are various different types of sex toys out there
Certain ones you have to be mindful of when pairing with lubes
Be careful when using sex toys and consuming alochol and/or use of other drugs, you could risk injury if your toys are on too high of a setting
Sex Therapist Tip #3: Find What Sex Toys Feel Right For You! Let’s Go Shopping Boo!
Sex Toy Recommendations
Before I get into which sex toys I recommend, please be mindful that these are affiliate links below. Meaning, if you purchase any of the sex toys, products, or lubes, a portion of it goes back to supporting my business at no additional cost to you :) Thank you and share this blog with a friend to help support my business grow! It’s completely free to you and I am so grateful when you do! Now, let’s spill the sexualiTEA on some sex toys baby! When I use Vulva Owners and Penis Owners, it’s because gender does not equal genitals. Don’t understand? Let’s do a sex psychoeducation session with me that you can book here to learn more. Now, let’s get into some of my favorite sex toys and brands!
Different Types of Sex Toys For Vulva Owners
Femme Fun The Ultra Rabbit Massager: Double the stimulation with 10 vibrating modes, dual stimulating heads, made from silicone, 100% water proof, usb chargeable, full charge 2.5 hours max, full run time 2 hours, come hither back and forth motion, and standby mode. $149.99
Bellesa Finger Pro: Clitorial stimulation that you can wrap around your finger. It’s light on your hand, has 10 vibration modes, 45 minutes of play time, body-safe silicone, has a lovely 👅 motion to it, it’s waterproof 🧼🛁🫧 it’s rechargeable🔋 & an excellent choice for travel! Price: $59
We Vibe Sync Lite: Hands free vibrator that has an adjustable fit! 10+ vibration modes, very quiet toy, one button control, and controlled through the we-vibe app through your smart phone. 2 year warranty, body-safe silicone, run time up to 45 minutes and charge time up to 90 minutes. $89
Satisfyer Yummy Sunshine G-Spot Vibrator: Fully flexible silicone shaft, curved tip for ideal g-spot massaging and clitoral stimulation, body-safe silicone, 12 different vibration settings with 6 intensities for vibration variation, magnetic charging connection, ring shaped handle design, heavy duty, 100% waterproof, 30 minutes of use, and rechargeable. $34.95
Destary Personal Wand: 20 vibration modes, 8 powerful speed variations, intensity and pulsation buttons, 100% waterproof, USB port charger to charge, medical grade silicone, use for all around body-massage pleasure, quiet motor and sound. $14.99
Tuitionua Multi-Use Vibrator: G-spot, Clitorial, Vaginal, and Anal Stimulation. 10 speed vibrator with 3 types: interval, continuous, and high frequency, completely waterproof, usb magnetic charger through computer, wall adaptor, car adaptor, and portable adaptor, total charge time: 2 hours, total play time: 1 hour, and body safe material out of silicone. $21.97
Oliver James Vibrating Wand: 8 intensity levels, 20 vibration patterns, flexible wand head, made from body safe silicone that is skin friendly, wireless and rechargeable usb port/cord,and charge time: 2 hours. $15.99
The Zena, Two In One Vibrator: The Zena is created by my good friend Bee, and this is an amazing, heavy duty two in one vibrator!! One end is for clitoral stimulation and the second end is for g-spot stimulation! I love the turquoise color, how flexible it is, and that it is a great price for this heavy duty, dual motored product. There’s 10 modes for each side, double the pleasure, double the fun! Water based lube friendly, made with silicone safe material, nontoxic, waterproof, and can run for 60+ minutes, win win! $109.99 - Use my discount code: Jackoff15 to get this item cheaper :) *Please note: a portion of the discount code goes back to my business with no added cost to you.
Plus One Vibrating Arc: Personal dual vibrating massager for vaginal and anal stimulation, 5 powerful vibration settings, rechargeable, 100% waterproof, made of silicone safe body material, and rechargeable. $35.57
plusOne Mini Massager: 10 vibrating modes, silicone safe, rechargeable battery, fully waterproof for bath or shower, discreet form, lay flat against vulva, clitoris, nipples, or anywhere else. $22.88
My Deia The Wearable: Simultaneously straddles the clitoris and goes inside the vagina. 10 vibration settings, two-in-one vibrator, allows partner(s) to control the vibration with remote, charging case for discreetness, protects, and charges, great for travel with the case, and it is smooth, flexible, and provides the ultimate comfort. Price: $169
Satisfyer Number One Air Pulse Clitoris Stimulator: This clitoris stimulator gives stimulation through air pressure waves, you can easily switch between the 11 different pressure wave settings, it is battery powered (uses AAA), waterproof for up to 30 minutes, portable and travel friendly size, and body safe silicone head around the clitoris. $23.95
Adorime 3 in 1 G-Spot Rabbit: 3 in 1 G-spot Rabbit for Triple Orgasm, stimulates the clitoris, vagina, and anus regions. 7 vibration g-spot modes, 3 clitioral stimulating speeds, usb port chargeable, can use up to 1 hour or 60 minutes after charged, and 100% waterproof. $30.99
Different Types of Sex Toys For Penis Owners
Unvomi Prostate Massager: Anal sex toy stimulation, waterproof, dual motors and 10 vibration modes with remote controller within 25 feet, and for all genders. $23.99
Satisfyer Endless Love Couple’s Vibrator: Versatile 14+ different uses of this sex toy, completely waterproof, made from soft silicone body safe material, wide vibrating surface area, 3 high power controlled motors, gender-neutral for couples, easily switch between 100 different vibration settings, designed to hug tightly to the body and stay on, can use in water for 30 minutes, and is rechargeable. $38.95
Satisfyer Endless Fun Couple’s Vibrator: 28-29+ Plus ways to use this sex toy! 3 high powered controlled motors, rotating head for more variety, adjustable arms for stimulation, switch between 100 different vibration settings, gender neutral for singles and couples, body safe silicone, handle doubles as insertion, 100% waterproof use up to 30 minutes, and rechargeable. $35.95
Fleshlight: This fleshlight is a sexual self care fun one for masturbation! This vagina shaped flashlight that can help build stamina, it’s designed to replicate intercourse sensations, can help heighten orgasm, and improve performance. Adjustable, easily moves up and down, and only good with water based lubes. $69.95
Hisionlee 4PC Anal Butt Plugs: 4 different sized set anal play butt plugs made of 100% medical grade silicone, can stick on the sides of the shower and use, plug in separation design, whole body wash and easy to clean, and use for all genders. $16.97
If you’ve like to watch my sex toy product reviews on these items and many more, check out and subscribe to my YouTube Channel here. I go into a deep dive with various product reviews and which I think are amazing too!!
I hope this blog helped spilled the sexualiTEA regarding secrets from me, a sex therapist near you, and intimacy coach too, that helps you stay shamelessly sexy boo!
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